Tour script for a travel app.

You don’t know where –– or when –– you are. Just that you feel rattled and disoriented. A mustachioed man in his 60s approaches you. All of his visible skin is painted red. He wears a fedora and bedraggled pinstriped suit.

“Oh, hi. I guess you’re wondering where you are and how you got here… Well, what happened is a solar flare altered the trajectory of an asteroid’s orbit. Somehow, it got knocked off-course and sent a ripple through the spacetime rolodex that left you stranded in 1997. Kidding